I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
