One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
