I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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