My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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