the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
