Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
