i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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