His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
false alarm, still single
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