LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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