Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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