i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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