you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
