Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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