There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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