Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
