careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
