I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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