I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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