My sheets look like a crime scene.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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