playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
