you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
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Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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