If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
