What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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