it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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