I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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