Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
