He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
