if you like me you must not know who I am
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
