Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize