i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
