using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
