I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
