Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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