At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He better not be in your backpack
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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