With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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