Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
