does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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