can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
