I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Randomize
