Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
