Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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