he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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