I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
