I wish i was in the wii world.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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