Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She said her name was "party"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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