I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
