I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my sisters under your porch take her home
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
