I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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