Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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