dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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