I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
