is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize