so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
