we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
