just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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