Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
