You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The ass gains better be worth it
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