life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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