Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
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Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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